


Suddenly, Audrey

by shabnam_e_maghz



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-12
Updated: 2011-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-14 17:18:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/151628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shabnam_e_maghz/pseuds/shabnam_e_maghz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then Mal decided they should try to perform "Little Shop of Horrors."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suddenly, Audrey

“You do realize that this musical is a very deep exploration of the subconscious mind-state,” said Dom, brightly.

“It’s feminist-lampshading metatextual commentary,” said Ariadne.

“It’s a postsocialist class-conscious Faustian fable,” said Yusuf.

“You all are just talking about how Audrey II is porn on vines, aren’t you,” said Eames.

Arthur made a muffled sound of protest.

“Don’t pretend you don’t agree, Arthur, why else would I be playing the part,” said Eames.

“Because you’re a baritone and you have no problem sitting up and down for hours to make the plant move?” said Arthur, at the same time that Ariadne said, “Because you already have the lips,” and both cut themselves off to glance at each other as if abjectly horrified that the other could think something like that.

Mal sighed.

“Someday I’m going to direct a real theater company,” she vowed. “And at that time I will forever ban every mother’s son of you from the actor’s guild to spare all future directors from ever having to interact with you.”

“They’d love to interact with us,” protested Eames. “Well,” he said, reconsidering. “They’d love to interact with _me_.” He gestured to himself meaningfully.

“Please don’t ever do that again,” said Mal. “Okay, please, before the bell rings, would you all just try one run-through?”

She moved toward the back of the auditorium so she could get a better vantage point, her walk crisp and authoritative and implying heels three inches higher than the ones she was wearing.

Cobb put his leather jacket on and stepped off to the side with Ariadne.

Arthur put on the large, square glasses with the lenses popped out and pulled his hair forward.

And Eames, who didn’t have an actual plant costume yet, sat down on a chair and put his head on his knees.

“The order really will be coming in soon, Eames,” Mal’s voice carried from the end of the auditorium. Audrey II was under copyright, and the school’s order for the full-sized version hadn’t delivered yet, so practice currently required a bit of imagination.

“Tooey, I am a little hungry,” declared Arthur, with a deadpan monotone that made Mal visibly facepalm from across the auditorium, “I think I’ma go down to Schmendrick’s and get a bite to eat.”

The moment Ariadne knew that all hell was about to break loose was the moment Eames’ shoulderblades seemed to curl as he sat himself up and swanned back down, grunting through the motion in a deep, resonant baritone:

“Feed me.”

*

“Eames, you managed to turn the most iconic moment of a B-movie-parody Off-Broadway musical into what felt like a _sex scene_ ,” Ariadne called out to his smugly approaching figure. “Take some credit.”

“I feel so violated,” said Arthur, head in his hands. “Oh, my god, I’m never going to be able to unremember this.”

“The question is,” said Eames, shuffling his lunch tray onto the table and inserting himself onto the bench to sit beside Arthur, “why would you _want_ to?”


End file.
